Congrats! Believe it or not, when you decided to raise your child, you graduated. To teacher. And your home became their class. It only makes sense, right? Where else are they going to learn how to survive? Where else are they going to learn how to eat, sleep, play and conduct themselves in this world? Who knew? That the moment you kissed their head and gave them milk, you enrolled them in the School of You!
Step into your role graciously, lovingly, and curiously. It’s an entirely different way of living. And maybe you’re thinking, “How would I know what to teach?” But check this out - you are the best teacher for what you have been assigned to teach. You have been placed here, maybe strategically and maybe chaotically, and your child has chosen you to be their teacher and parent.
And you’re all, “What do I know about teaching? Don’t people go to school for years, get certified and have a career in teaching? I so did not do that.” But actually, when you held your child and your heart broke at the sight of them, you started a school: The School of Life, baby! Don’t worry, the curriculum in your house is not so complex. That comes naturally. It’s just the lesson plans, intellectual prep, and organization you have to work on! No big deal!
You’re only just teaching them about themselves, you, your family, your values, the world around them, and beyond. That’s all. This means that:
The way we talk and express emotions
What we talk about and how we say it
How we talk about the world and people in it
How we conduct ourselves in our life
Are all clues to what life is all about for them and will help them conduct themselves in their life as well. But the emphasis should not be on what you do all day, but on how you do it. There’s that mindful parenting - the intentionality behind your actions, your words, and your behavior.
It’s like when you throw a party or host a guest. You don’t just prepare and hope for the best. You:
Put away your stuff
Buy flowers to cheer up the place
Prepare appropriate food
Shave or get a manicure
Make a thoughtful itinerary
It’s kind of like raising a child in your home - intentionally planning for a special event (life, baby!) but like, every day. You:
Make sure your home is safe and accommodating
Buy equipment to carry and care for your child
Take care of yourself so you have energy and strength
Speak about yourself and others with kindness
Stay aware of the needs of others
So, in a way, we have to be careful, right? No, you didn’t plan on being a teacher. You just planned on trying your best at being a parent. And you are. You have what it takes, you just have to put it all together and remember that they are watching and listening to you. Easy peasy…
Whew, yes, it can seem exhausting. That is why it’s so important to listen to your body and take breaks, delegate responsibility and say no when you need to. But as your child watches and learns from you and they grow skills and vocabulary, you realize that you can get to a point where you've implemented enough sustainable caregiving (and relationship and emotional health) habits that parenting comes organically. Dare we say, it even gets easier. And you can take on the role of the teacher not as a terrifying or confusing task, but as an exciting, interesting process of experimentation.
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