Have you ever been in a situation where you’re trying to do something but are too upset or distracted about an event or a person that disturbed or saddened you? Of course you have! It only happens all the time. Sometimes our feelings are so big that we can’t move on or get anything accomplished in the proceeding moments.
Young children operate solely on feelings. It is the strongest part of their development right now. They will slowly learn to move, run, dress themselves and express themselves, but their center of gravity is their emotions. In a way, that’s true for us as well. How we are feeling will determine our day, our conversations, our accomplishments.
When a child is learning, they are hard at work. It’s their job to:
experiment
explore
build upon what they’ve learned
apply what they learned
It’s why they build Lego’s or structures and knock them down over and over. They are learning more every time.
Now sometimes this experimentation appears as misbehavior to adults. We think that they intend to misbehave and defy our authority. But very young children are not capable of malice or bad intention. They are just seeing what would happen, they are experimenting. No, that’s not comforting when they pull a bottle down from the supermarket shelf. But how we react can determine the lesson they will learn.
How can we react and what are the effects?
If we react with anger, they will internalize that negativity and they will experiment less and thus learn less.
If we use reason to explain why we can’t pull things off the shelf, it gives them a lesson they can build upon and recall the next time they’re at the supermarket.
If we respond with firmness so that they know you’re serious but not angry, they know that you still love them as you’re showing them the limits of how they can behave. This makes them more receptive to what you’re telling them.
If you are upset with a raised voice, they will react to your emotion, not your message. Emotional energy is very strong and when they’re directed to a child who doesn’t know how to rationalize and defend themselves yet, it can cause trauma.
Calm, kind, positive interactions give children the space to create successful experimentation and build more and more neurons in their brain so that they learn more and faster. It’s incredible.
So the whole exchange between an adult and a learning child is just like a scientist experimenting.
They mix solutions over and over until they get the right mixture
They don’t get yelled at when they use too much of a certain element
If the mixture explodes, they’ll move on to another tactic
Be supportive of your little scientist and be patient as they experiment with their body, their voices, and their reactions as well.
Comments